The Blonde

It was my last working day for 4 weeks yesterday since we fly back to the UK on Sunday and what does my dear wife do, yes, lock herself (and the wee lad) out of the unit (that's a flat to British folk) during the morning.

Did I drive home let her in and then drive back to work? No, I had a list of tasks as long my.......arm.......to complete and so I now feel very guilty, very guilty indeed. She's been very good about it though, she said she was fine etc, she doesn't blame me and she had a nice day, but I reckon I'll cop for it later, you know when I'm not expecting it, you know what these women folk are like???!!!

And on that slightly dodgy note I'll stop typing and go and enjoy my life whilst I still can.

This edition of The Wining Pom was brought to you by Twinings English Breakfast tea.....

Derby....

I watched the Man Utd v Man City match last night (recording), after spending all day at work avoiding finding out the result and telling people NOT to tell me.

What a splendid result, can't believe the sky blues of Manchester beat the Red Devils at Old Trafford....un-bloody-believable.....6v1, obviously exaggerated due to the red card but at least we’ve got a bit of a lead at the top because with Man U in second we’re guna need it!

But the one thing that annoyed me was the commentary; I don’t know what it was like in sunny Blighty but how the commentators changed during the game. At first they started hailing Man U for their second to NONE record at home and their dominance throughout the premier league years, and to be honest who the heck can deny it, by far and away the most successful club in England for the last 20 years! But then, when Balotelli slotted in the opening goal the mood changed and they were suddenly City fans. The icing on the cake (hhhhhmmmmmm  ccaaakkkkee!) came when Evans pulled back Balotelli and was sent off and then poor Evans became a scape goat for everything and one commentator said “I always said that Evans has always got one mistake per game in him”…..bull cr@p! Then after the match we had Mark Bosnich’s “expert” view on how Man U and Sir Alex will deal with it…..I’m sorry but he was probably too smacked off his nut to remember what was going on.

Anyway, rant over, still can’t get over the result and yes to any Man U fan who reads this, I do understand that the game ended up being one sided after the sending off but hey, C’est La Vie!

Splashing Out......

I've just had may first banana for months......the missus bought them today so I believe she has either a) come in to money or b) taken leave of her senses or c) thought sod it! Can't believe they are still $10/Kg!!

Commuters beware.....

Most of you are probably aware that I commute to and from work every day, which largely consists of a walk, a train, a bus followed by another walk or another bus depending on the weather and if I’m lazy. Generally the commuting goes without a glitch but occasionally one is hindered in ones travelling by the unsuspecting half wits.

One type of halfwit generally has a certain… maturity….aye, maturity, that’s a good way of saying ancient or old!...Anyway, these “mature” people usually come out of hiding on very hot days or when its pi55ing down. They stand at the bus stop like any other person discreetly camouflaged. The bus then turns up and other commuters automatically stand aside in the baking heat or rain and let the mature halfwit thru the throng to the bus doors. At which point the halfwit suddenly realises they are catching a bus and then proceed to stand still, just inside the bus doors, searching thru all manner of bags looking for a bus pass or loose change whilst the rest of the commuters get baked in the heat or soaked in the rain.

Another set of halfwits hinder the happy commuter are the actual chauffeurs themselves, yes the bus drivers! These folk have to put up with a fair amount of grief, generally from the “youth of today”. In saying this, some have taking it upon themselves to reduce this grief by simply driving straight past would be passengers, including myself. If you are not aware, in Sydney you have to flag down buses so they stop. Recently, I not only was waving manically to stop the damn thing but actually stepped into the bus line just to watch the bloomin’ inbred accelerate and narrowly miss me as I stepped back on to the pavement into the other 3 work colleagues who were also waving down the bus. The eejit didn’t stop…..ggrrrrr.

 So I hope this offers some insight into the torrid life of an ordinary commuter, and probably a little more of an insight into my deluded psyche. 

 All the best with your commuting……

Imaginatively Named Number 1

The Intro.....continued

Anything included in The Wining Pom should be taken with a pinch of salt, is not meant to be offensive and is only supposed make people smile (or even laugh) therefore if you have lost or had your sense of humour removed or are American (that doesn’t include you Noreen), please stop reading now.

The name of the Blog has originated from one of the most obvious facts, which is I am a POM, this is one of the most affectionate phrases used by the Aussie’s to describe us English/British here in Australia. The origins of this semi-derogatory term is by no means defined, some believe it originated for P.O.H.M. which stands for Prisoner Of His/Her Majesty, or P.O.M.E. Prisoner (or Product) of Mother England, either way its used in the continuous banter between my beloved nation (i.e. English) and the ex-convictsP.O.H.M.s!

The “wining” part should also be an obvious play on words as us Poms have a rather suitable reputation of whinging all the time…..”never” I hear you say rather sarcastically! Unfortunately parts of this Blog will substantiate such “wild” accusations. Plus there’s also the unknown fact that I don’t mind an infrequent small amount of alcohol.

Over the first few editions I also hope to offer an insight in to what we’ve done since leaving the “sunny” shores of Blighty, way back in late 2007, for one of our most successful colonies, i.e. Australia. I’m also hoping to educate the non-southern hemisphere folk in what happens in this part of the world.

The Early Days

So then, the past, one of the only constant growing things in life....now there's a semi morbid thought! As already stated I left the UK in late 2007, jumping ship as it were just before the Global Financial Crisis took hold in Britain. I left my job, put my house up for sale (eventually sold in May 2008) and started a new life in Sydney, and to be honest I’ve not looked back since.….well not much….well maybe a slight glance especially when I can’t watch footy at a reasonable hour!

I landed on this fair land on Wed 12^th Dec, and just as a previous Yorkshire predecessor (i.e. Captain James Cook) had done back in 1770, I intended on starting a new life.

As I’d given up my job as of Fri 7^th Dec 2007, I was technically speaking “on holiday” and so therefore found little motivation to search for a new career and decided to enjoy the opportunity for rest and relaxation after a relatively hectic ending to my AZ/UK days when I was working and decorating the house ready for sale!

My dear fiancée and now wife, Rita, had already been in Sydney for a few weeks prior to my arrival and had sorted out a small, in fact very small, studio type unit (aka flat to normal speaking people). This was, and I suppose still is, situated a short walk outside Sydney’s CBD.

So what did I do with my free time? Well, Sydney is not unsurprisingly a visually attractive city, therefore I spent a lot of time just wandering around the CBD, botanic gardens and visiting the odd beach, as I figured that I was still being paid I might as well treat it as a holiday. See the “Iconic Views” photo I took during my daily ambling.

During which time I had decided that I couldn’t be bothered grooming myself as I had once done in England (believe it or not) as I tried to blend in with the so called “natives”, so my hair grew longer and a beard type thing appeared around my lower jaw as I regressed through evolution in to a more Neanderthal appearance, as shown in the “Blending in” photo. I’d just like to point out that the Aussie’s obviously aren’t the true natives in Oz although some of them may not actually be aware of this as their education system ignored the actual natives, i.e. the aboriginals, for years!.......

This look proved to be quiet disturbing as when wandering aimlessly around Sydney several foreigners would stop me to ask for directions, then to their horror I would reply in a broad(ish) Yorkshire accent, but would be able to help neither-the-less due to my days spent aimlessly ambling.

During the early days I also mixed with one or two celebs, the most notable of which was the infamous Milky Joe from the British comedy series the Mighty Boosh. Take a ganders at the “Mixing with the celebs” photo which shows me and Milky Joe hitting the town!

Thus ends the small insight in to the first few weeks in Oz. I will write more in the next few editions since I’ve not been overly great at updating folk over the past few years!

Fire, Water, Wind and Earth – The Serious Bit

I hope some of you Northern hemisphere folk are aware this part of the planet has been hit with damn awful events over the past few years which seem to have taken the form of the “elements”, fire, water, wind and earth.

First up, fire, the state of Victoria was hit with the worst fires for decades, with the weather hitting 46˚C on 7^th Feb 2009, this proved to be the catalyst for one of the most horrific disasters. The link below will give you some kind of idea of what the people and the state went through but probably doesn’t get near the mark.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/photo-gallery/gallery-e6frf94x-1225899622293?page=1

Secondly, water, Queensland was then hit in December 2010 by floods with ¾ of the state declared a disaster zone. To give you some sort of idea as to how big this is, it’s as large as France and Germany combined! Feel free to donate any of your hard earned pennies, pounds, cents or dollars to the website below.

https://www.redcross.org.au/Donations/onlineDonations.asp

Thirdly, wind, as if the floods weren’t enough the same state copped for cyclone Yasi bringing more destruction in early February 2011.

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/floodrelief/north-queensland-braces-for-cyclone-anthony-as-cyclone-yasi-brews-behind-it/story-fn7ik2te-1225997552623

Lastly and more recently, earth, Christchurch on New Zealand’s south island was hit with an earthquake rating approximately 6.3 on the Richter scale. This destroyed homes, businesses, hospitals and lives.

Again, please donate if you wish.

http://www.redcross.org.nz/donate

The Finale

I hope I have now given you all a bit of an insight in to our lives in Oz and what I did at the start of the adventure in to foreign lands. Also this has kind of ended on a very serious note on what horrific disasters have hit this part of the planet but I thought the northern hemisphere folk may not have realised what Australia and its cousins in New Zealand have gone through over the past few years.

If you have any input, thoughts or comments about the content of this Blog please feel free to email thewiningpom@hotmail.co.uk

Thanks to.....

This edition has been brought to by Tyrrell’s 2009 Chardonnay, a lovely little white with the usual citrus undertones.